Monday, February 19, 2007

Advice for Women: Before You Marry a Guy . . .

. . . make a point of being around when he's helping someone in your church move. As in carrying boxes and furniture onto trucks and into a house. You won't learn everything, but you'll learn some pretty important things. Is he showing initiative to find out what's next or hanging around waiting for instructions? Does he find creative ways to use cargo dollies to move stuff more quickly and efficiently? Is he a quiet hard-working loner, a benevolent team-oriented organizer, or a loudmouth boss? Or is he really more like a stationary piece of furniture himself?

Here's the most important one: Does he always seem to be conveniently available but not quite on the business end of the couch when it's going up the stairs?

And buy the way, try to act like you're not paying attention. Stay busy helping pack or clean the kitchen and sneak a peek every now and then. Otherwise he'll be picking his moments to try to impress you.

[This concludes today's public service announcement.]

15 comments:

greg456 said...

"Buy the way"....I'm disappointed.

Ben said...

Fair enough. But I'm equally disappointed in you. I expected something way more smartalecky.

PinkAngel said...

Leave it to the English teacher...I had to go back and see what Greg was talking about. Good advice, Ben. I would love to know what prompted this service announcement.

Coach C said...

Ladies, the result of your observation will let you know if you will ever get help in changing diapers.

Ben said...

PA,

Mostly an adulthood full of observation, sparked by a day of inspiration.

Josh,

I see your point, but I'm not sure they're apples to apples. I actually have another theory about a babysitting and diaper-changing date, but I haven't tested it in the laboratory of life experience yet.

joy mccarnan | karagraphy.com said...

this works (except for the "buy," which motion i second). don't forget pianos! it's better to hear a man give that dying-rabbit cry of agony while carrying a piano up an endless staircase (tears included!) than it is seeing him choosing merely to "lead" by "delegating."

Travis said...

Alistair Begg provided similar exhortation while speaking at Cedarville a few years back. (I didn't get to hear it live; just the recording.)

It's good advice.

Irenaeus II said...

If God wanted us guys to change diapers, then we would be the ones who, um, well...

Okay okay, so changing diapers isn't wrong for a guy to do. However, I don't see a verse that says we should.

Woo hoo, high five guys!

The trick is to get married first and then excercise your leadership skills by delegating that responsibility. Avoid that question like the plague before marriage.

Coach C said...

Ben, I don't quite get your drift. . .are you saying that you will be wearing diapers by the time you go on your next date?

Gretchen said...

Or what days is he available to help move? Any time during the weekend? Part of Saturday only? Or will he take a vacation day to help his friends?

That's what a guy from Josh's ministry team did for us. And he told us "you're worth it". Now that's GOLD!

Josh said...

Ben,
Did you help someone move recently? Is this is one of those infomercials that masquerades as a public service announcement?

Ben said...

People keep asking me about this, so I'll clarify. This is not a response to a bad experience with people I worked with in a move. Quite to the contrary.

These are just some observations that have developed in an adulthood full of moving experiences, almost all of which have been with people who would inspire positive responses to the above questions. From time to time there have been exceptions, but I certainly didn't have anyone in mind as I wrote.

G-Knee said...

Agreed - I can't repeat how true it is! I just moved...saw it all...now, if the people who helped me move read your blog...things should get interesting.

Josh said...

I meant, did YOU recently register a stellar performance helping someone move? :)

Paul said...

Good work Ben, you are definitely on to something here.

I think this is a great example of how churches which orient their singles ministry towards service, rather than social model, help not only the rest of the body, but also the singles themselves.